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You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight. 
You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars. 
You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing. 
When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved. 
Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you. 
You've paid $6.00 a gallon for gas without complaining. 
You bought a race car before buying a house. 
You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house. 
You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture! 
The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Deaf neighbors.
6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property - or - hookups for the motor home.
You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop. 
You have enough spare parts to build another car. 
More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call. 
You think the last line of the Star Spangled banner is: "Racers start your engines!" 
People know you by your class, car number, and car color. 
You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so. 
Your family brings the couch into the garage to spend time with you. 
A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn." 
You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work. 
You always want to change something on your street car to make it handle better. 
You've tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon. 
You save broken car parts as "momentous". 
You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol). 
The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips. 
You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles. 
After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation she answers: "Why...is there a race there?" 
You know at least three 1-800 numbers to aftermarket parts houses by heart. 
You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop. 
You want to take apart and rebuild things, even though they are not broken.
You have the monetary equivalent of a lunar rocket invested in it, but your car still won't cut a good light or run the number. 
You own a vehicle that has at least 500 horsepower more than when it came out of Detroit. 
You look for hi-po cars in the movies and try to guess what engine size, tire size, and whether or not it has nitrous in it. 
You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in a traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five hours in the staging lanes.
Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to tree the guy in the other lane's eyes out. 
You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family, then you drive it like you stole it. 
You understand racing is a way of life, not just a means of transportation.

by Dave Maddalena


1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
2. You can't drive your car in the rain.
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
4. You are afraid to drive your car.
5. You spend more on tires than on food.
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by.
12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding.
15. You arrive somewhere before you left.
16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
17. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
22. You need parachute braking.
23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.
27. Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums!
28. You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???)
29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
31. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
32. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust.
33. All the major Tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal.
34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
35. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELLOUT.
37. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.
38. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right ....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
39. The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east.
40. You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.
41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
42. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
43. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
44. The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road.
45. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
46. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile.

Hey, how'd those Chevs get in here!!!

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them? -- George Carlin

How To Change Your Oil


  1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

  2. Drink a cup of coffee.

  3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.


  1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.

  2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

  3. Open a beer and drink it.

  4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

  5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

  6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

  7. Place drain pan under engine.

  8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

  9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

  10. Unscrew drain plug.

  11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

  12. Clean up.

  13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

  14. Look for oil filter wrench.

  15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.

  16. Beer.

  17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

  18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

  19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.

  20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

  21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

  22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.

  23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

  24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

  25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

  26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.

  27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

  28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

  29. Begin cussing fit.

  30. Throw wrench.

  31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December(1992) in the left boob.

  32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

  33. Beer.

  34. Beer.

  35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

  36. Beer.

  37. Lower car from jack stands.

  38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

  39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

  40. Drive car.

Simple Online Games

Drivers Ed, flash game


The Race

(best hotwheels animation Ive seen lol)

Auto Curling


Is this that new Olympic winter sport,

Burnout Comparison European to Iraqi

now thats Damn Funny

First Bugatti Veyron crash   (Motorauthority.com)

Posted on Sunday 4 March 2007


Update: More details surrounding the Veyron crash have emerged, including the identity of the driver and its unfortunate owner. The Mail reports the vehicle was registered to 41-year old businessman Kumar Soni, but it’s believed the person behind the wheel at the time of the accident was his younger brother, 39-year old Ajay Soni. The crash occurred near the owner’s £3 million Surrey home in the UK, and neighbors claim it had caused a heated argument between the two brothers.

It’s also thought that the £830,000 ($2million Cdn) supercar was only delivered last week and is one of only a dozen such models in the UK. Onlookers claim the car was travelling in excess of 100mph before the driver lost control, hit a Vauxhall Astra driven by a seven-month pregnant woman, and spun three times before crashing into trees beside the road.

Local police have taken details, and the driver is currently being investigated for driving without due care and attention. Fortunately, no-one was injured during the accident. The Soni family run several car hire and property companies based in London.

Previous: We’ve seen plenty of smashed Ferrari Enzos but this is the first time we’ve come across images of a wrecked Bugatti Veyron. Information is sketchy, but it’s thought that a pool of water on the road caused the AWD supercar to lose traction and then spin out of control, sending it head first into a ditch near Shepperton in the UK. Most of the cabin section and engine compartment look relatively undamaged, however, it’s hard to determine what internal damage to the drivetrain there is if any. Hopefully the driver got out unscathed.

According to the source, this is the first time a private customer has actually crashed a Veyron. Engineers reportedly destroyed two prototype examples during testing, which was part of the reason for the long delays during the vehicle’s development.



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